Does “One Size Fit All?”
One Woman’s Plea for Help & Understanding
(The Region of Pukhtoon (Pashtun, Afghanistan)
Richard DiPilla,( Founder of “Uniting the World’s
Humanitarians at Global Goodwill Ambassadors (GGA) on LinkedIn, is a most
recent connection to Women Entrepreneurs Worldwide. It is recognizable from the
very outset, that he is one who leads with the necessary elements to engage in
humanitarianism "Purpose, Compassion, Relationship Building." As
displayed in Richard’s comment (“I am lost what to say to this woman.
How can I give her hope? I feel helpless. I can't even begin to
understand how she feels."). It was Richard's comment
that captured my attention and beckoned me to read the letter and comments from
others. Surprisingly, there were more "likes/comments" from men,
then women at the time of my reading. The letter is from a woman in the region
of Pukhtoon (Pashtun, Afghanistan). If any of the readers are
not familiar with this region, (as I was not), then please visit the links
below for some insight or take a history research trip on the Internet.
For me, this letter brought forth what I have long
pondered, which is, the effect and impact of various movements of women’s
groups, organizations, operating, particularly in developing countries,
with limited funds and staff to reach and engage with women who lack education
and clarity. I wholeheartedly believe that the groups and organizations who
are charged with this responsibility, of humanitarianism, try to the best of
their ability to offer, what Richard feels helpless to convey.
I recognize the will to do good globally, but
at the same time, as presented in this letter, there is a propensity to package
the “will to do good” as a “one size fits” all. Right here, for any
who take offense to my comments, please understand that these
comments are not meant to be delivered as a challenge to any individual, ethnic
group residing in any region of the world or organization, etc. But, by
the very admission of this Afghan woman, it brings confirmation to my pondering
of the question, “Why the one size fits all?” How can the "will to
do good" be tailored as all inclusive. How much direct
interaction has there been with women of various regions to ascertain
suggestions from them, as to how those wanting assistance should proceed, to
bring about change that will possibly help women to understand, how to help
themselves. I would be honored to sit with this Afghan woman (or a group
of Afghan women and men) and try to assist in discarding obstacles to these
challenges which are enormous in the overwhelmingly majority of regions.
The opportunity may present itself, sooner than I anticipate., as
recently I have been in these discussions, but I ponder how effective I could
be.
What is most obvious to me, is that the centuries mindset
of men should be discussed at the table with both men and women for
the possibility of redirection of thinking of women, even from
birth. Not an easy or overnight solution, but I wholeheartedly
believe that if the mindset of a few men can see the value of women from a
different perspective, eventually this will propel more to have a greater
understanding of that value and the obstacle of who has a greater worth will
slowly become less.
In several of my discussions with men in various regions of the globe, that
subscribe to the cultural aspects such as what this woman resides in, many men,
in truth, want change for women, but it is the upper-handed mindset, the
various cultural society obstacles, that restricts many men from taking the
lead to attempt change of the mindset of generations of cultural
adherence. In my discussions, many of these men, truth be told,
agree that the cultural restrictions which oppress women, are a major downfall
to the economic progress for their communities/countries.
You probably are asking yourselves, what confirmation did I receive from this
article as it relates to what I pondered
for some time? There are several confirmations, but one must
be willing to take a view from a different perspective to anticipate the
possibilities that this may be effective.
- First, there is no “one size fits all” solution.
- There is no quick fix to centuries of cultural suppression and deep- routed beliefs, adding religion as what corrects all. No disrespect to any religion or religious beliefs.
- That individuals, organizations, etc., should take into consideration, building rapport and relationships with the men of such cultures, especially, around the globe where there are patriarchal societies and tap into those who have the mindset and realize that their societies will not progress if the continuation of suppression of women remains a dominating factor, if the cultural belief continues to exist, that boys are more beneficial then girls, that there is no value in females.
- That whether it is a small group of men or large in number, who believe that everyone is entitled to rights, freedom, etc., and suppression or one group or another is the destruction of all.
I am not foolish enough to believe that centuries of the above will be resolved
quickly, but I do come to a resolve that men must move beyond what has been
around for centuries that cause the suppression of women and stagnation of
progress for the whole . Organizations cannot simply be given
donations and/or grants to keep creating a "one size fits all
solution." The fact remains, that cultural mindsets must be
approached from a view on relationship building, trust factor, the perspective
that gaining ground must be accomplished with small groups of those
who perpetuate and have a control over the masses.
I don’t pretend to be one who studies the various groups, organizations and/or
the movements, or have the answers, but I am a firm believer that “mindset” and
continuation of “that’s the way it has always been approach will not resolve
the challenges, nor produce a beneficial outcome. Nor, create a
progressive society and decrease the high numbers of individuals who are the
dismayed and downtrodden such as the Afghan woman who wrote this letter.
Research:
http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.680.535&rep=rep1&type=pdf
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